As Christian women, we often find ourselves in positions where we need to manage, organize, and ensure that everything in our lives runs smoothly.
Whether it’s balancing work, family, church commitments, or friendships, there’s a natural tendency to want to control the details.
We want to make sure things are done right, and sometimes, it feels like if we don’t take charge, everything will fall apart.
But when does this desire to manage our lives cross the line into something more dangerous—when does control become an idol? And what are the spiritual consequences of holding too tight?
In our quest to keep everything in order, it’s easy to let control take a central place in our lives, often without even realizing it.
But when control becomes an idol, it doesn’t just affect our day-to-day lives; it creates a spiritual divide between us and God.
Let’s explore how this happens and how we can find our way back to a place of trust and surrender.
The Slippery Slope of Control
It starts innocently enough. We want things to go well, so we take charge. We make plans, set goals, and work hard to achieve them. But slowly, the desire for control can start to consume us.
We might start to believe that our worth is tied to how well we can manage our lives or that we need to control every situation to avoid disappointment or failure.
This is where the danger lies. When control becomes an idol, it starts to take the place of God in our lives. Instead of relying on His guidance and trusting in His plan, we start to rely on our own abilities.
Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
But when control is our idol, we’re no longer leaning on God—we’re leaning on ourselves.
How Control Separates Us from God
So, what happens when control becomes an idol? How does it affect our relationship with God?
Here are a few spiritual consequences that can arise when we hold too tightly to control:
A Decrease in Faith
When we idolize control, our faith starts to wane. We begin to trust more in our own abilities than in God’s power.
Instead of stepping out in faith and trusting God with the unknown, we cling to what we can manage and understand. This can lead to a life that is less about walking by faith and more about walking by sight.
Hebrews 11:6 tells us that “without faith it is impossible to please God,” but when control is our idol, our faith takes a backseat.
Increased Anxiety and Worry
The more we try to control, the more anxious we become. Why? Because deep down, we know that control is an illusion.
We can’t control everything, and the more we try, the more we realize how little control we actually have.
This constant struggle can lead to increased worry and anxiety, as we’re always on edge, trying to keep things from falling apart.
Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
But when control is our idol, prayer is often replaced with worry.
A Strained Relationship with God
Idolizing control creates a barrier between us and God. Instead of turning to Him for guidance and strength, we rely on our own understanding.
This can lead to a strained relationship with God, where our prayers become less about seeking His will and more about asking Him to bless our plans.
It’s easy to forget that God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and that His plans are always better than anything we could come up with on our own.
A Lack of Peace
True peace comes from trusting God and resting in His sovereignty. But when control is our idol, peace is hard to come by.
We’re constantly striving, planning, and worrying, trying to keep everything under control. This striving robs us of the peace that God promises to those who trust in Him.
Jesus said in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
But when control is our idol, our hearts are often troubled and afraid.
Missed Opportunities for Growth
Sometimes, God uses the unexpected and the uncontrollable to grow our faith and draw us closer to Him. But when we idolize control, we miss these opportunities.
We’re so focused on keeping everything in order that we don’t allow room for God to work in ways that might be outside of our plans.
Romans 8:28 reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
But when control is our idol, we might miss out on the good that God is trying to bring into our lives through unexpected circumstances.
Finding Freedom in Surrender
So, how do we break free from the idol of control? How do we return to a place of trust and surrender? Here are a few steps to help you on this journey:
- Acknowledge the Struggle
The first step is to recognize when control has become an idol in your life. Be honest with yourself and with God about where you’ve been relying more on your own abilities than on His guidance. Confess this to God and ask for His help in letting go. - Recommit to Trusting God
Make a conscious decision to trust God with the areas of your life where you’ve been holding on too tightly. This might mean praying a simple prayer like, “Lord, I surrender this situation to You. I trust that You are in control, and I release my need to manage it myself.” Trusting God doesn’t mean everything will go perfectly, but it does mean that you’re placing your faith in the One who knows what’s best for you. - Practice Letting Go
Surrendering control is a daily practice. Start with small steps—choose to let go of something that you’ve been holding onto tightly and trust God with the outcome. As you practice letting go in the small things, you’ll find it easier to surrender the bigger things as well. - Lean on Scripture
God’s Word is full of promises that remind us of His sovereignty and care for us. Spend time meditating on scriptures that speak to God’s control and provision, such as Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 46:10, and Matthew 6:25-34. Let these verses anchor your heart in truth when you’re tempted to take control. - Seek Support
Sometimes, breaking free from the idol of control requires the support of others. Share your struggles with a trusted friend, mentor, or small group. Ask them to pray with you and hold you accountable as you work on surrendering control to God.
Embracing the Freedom of Surrender
When control becomes an idol, it not only separates us from God, but it also robs us of the peace, joy, and freedom that come from trusting Him.
But the good news is that we don’t have to stay in this place. We can choose to let go, surrender our need for control, and trust that God is in charge.
As we do, we’ll find that our faith grows, our anxiety decreases, and our relationship with God deepens.
We’ll discover the beauty of living a life that’s not dictated by our own plans but guided by the loving hand of our Heavenly Father.
So, let’s commit today to release our grip on control and embrace the freedom that comes from surrendering to the One who is truly in control. After all, God’s got this—and that’s the best news of all.
If studying the Bible better is on your list of things to do this year, be sure to visit our Bible Study Resources page where you’ll find everything you need to make Bible study a regular part of your daily routine.
Reflection
- In what areas of your life do you find yourself struggling to let go of control? How has this impacted your relationship with God and your overall sense of peace?
- Think about a time when you tried to manage a situation on your own, only to find it led to more stress and anxiety. How might things have been different if you had surrendered the situation to God instead?
- What steps can you take this week to practice trusting God more and releasing your need for control? How can you invite God into the areas of your life where you’ve been holding on too tightly?
Don’t forget to download a printable version of this devotional along with the reflection questions.
Read more about the modern idols we struggle with today:
